Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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