You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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