haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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