i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
