I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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