im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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