We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
