Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I think i peed on brittanys purse
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
