Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
