Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
