Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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