What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
