a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
