just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
