the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize