When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Drake has all the answers
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
