Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You may now shotgun with the bride
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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