Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize