You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
