Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
