Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
