woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
