i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
