I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
