Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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