that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
