and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
