SEEEEXXX PLEASE
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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