Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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