Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
