In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
