I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i think i have herpe
just one?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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