Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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