A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
