Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
