i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
