Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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