I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Walk of Shame today included voting.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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