My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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