Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
