I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
