Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
