I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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