i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
