my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
