Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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