ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
