Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
