yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
