Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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