Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
