State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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