Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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