ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
